Christmas always goes according to plan

Faint wafts of Christmas pop tracks, over-worn Santa hats and the musty smell of pine from the Christmas pulled from their storage rooms warn me that Christmas is right around the corner. It is, in actual fact, tomorrow.

Christmas used to be my favourite holiday as a kid. Used to be. It is never good when something used to be. It has to be. It is not now. Now I am at sea, Christmas is one of the days I least look forward to.

It is not like I want to turn Grinch-like and hide in my room or steal Christmas. Its just Christmas is an exhausting day filled with families with at least one drunk person who thinks he is funny. Yes, it is usually a guy and yes I do wish I was just as drunk as him. I am not. Instead I have to try and get him to keep a straight face long enough for the second I need to snap the picture. Sounds easy enough roght? It is anything but. The reward? No Christmas presents, Christmas lunch or any traditions that make it feel like Christmas.

I try to make it happen. This year, I wore a Christmas hat for ten minutes until it got too hot. I watched a Christmas movie. Nightmare before Christmas is not depressing at all, right? We even tried to do Secret Santa so you get at least one Christmas present no matter how sad your life is. After last year where I spent $100 on a nice bag for my giftee and getting a cheap pair of earrings when my ears were not even pierced it just lost the vibe. The best thing about getting a gift is that, no matter how bad it is somebody cared enough to get it for you. Its the thought that counts. When Secret Santa turns gift-giving into a forced decision it somehow loses its meaning.

Don't worry, I am going somewhere with this endless rant of bitching. Although I would do anything to be back home, the Christmas there was not that spectacular anyway. My sister was admitted to hospital with acute pancreatitis. Christmas day was spent at the hospital with me on the other end of the world, worrying. That Christmas definitely did not go according to plan.

Every Christmas is different. No matter how wonderful or crappy it turned out the point of it is putting a Santa hat at least one, singing a cheesy Christmas carol at least once and making some kind of effort to be with your family. Whether that may be a Skype call, a message or, heavens knows, actually showing up for Christmas at least you can walk away saying you have tried. That is the most important thing after all. It is kot being naughty or nice. It is saying I've tried.

Day 1

“I’m not like all those other guys,” he says- winking while barely concealing the snigger peeking out underneath his dimples. He was just like all those other guys. 

Truth be told, I feel a bit like him starting this blog. I say it’s not another travel diary and I am hoping you will fall for it.

You see, after the early explorers and, later globalization made the world a much easier place to access- travelling has become pretty common. I do not open my facebook feed without seeing some new pictures from China, Italy or Vietnam from some lucky bugger on my friends list. And let us not forget all the new engaged couples tying the knot while I keep a brave, nonchalant face when the guy I passionately made out with last night ignores me on the way to work.

My lack of a successful love life aside- it’s not a big deal to take a trip away from home anymore. This leaves a problem for me. I work as a photographer on a cruise ship. This means I get paid while I see the world. When I started over a year ago I was living the life. I was in a new port almost every day. I ventured off the ship whenever possible- even when I was tired, hungover or just didn’t feel like it. I made myself feel like it. As a result I saw incredible things. I sipped rum on a beach in Jamaica, I caught a glimpse of the Northern lights in Alaska, I stood on top of the Empire State Building as the sun set over New York City. This is just a few of the awe inspiring things I have seen and done- all free of charge. Yes, I know I am lucky. Ps. this is me jumping into the ocean in Honduraz. Just one of the very many pictures I use to make people jealous of my life. 

The truth that not everybody knows is that I don’t do this every day. I may be moving at a speed of approximately 22 knots an hour on a permanent basis but I feel like my life is standing still. My day consists of a heavy dose of mind-numbing work with an occasional cocktail or coffee break with complimentary Wi-Fi on an island somewhere in the world. I know that people pay thousands to have a cocktail in the Caribbean but, for me, somewhere in the past one and a half year the extraordinary has become ordinary. The things people do to escape routine has become part of my routine.

Introducing …. (insert trumpets here)… my new way to find the extraordinary in what I do again. I am hoping that by sharing my experiences I can try and find some kind of meaning from them. Maybe. If not I will always be able to shed a light on the boring and the mundane things about my life at sea so that next time you see a cruise ship crew member bragging about their excursion to some tropical island you will laugh at them- knowing full well that ship life- or travelling is not always what you expect it to be.

Travellers, cruisers and crew in St Thomas

For those of you who do not already know, I live on the ocean. And yes that is amazing yet somehow possible. I work as a photographer on a luxury cruise line. I see a lot of places, travellers, cruisers and crew, and, most of all, stupid people everyday. Sometimes I share some of my observations.

Today we are docked in St Thomas- a U.S Virgin island. It is also the day I get the great honour of dressing in a corny pirate costume that is probably older than I am. While I loped the gangway- feeling like a mix between a street beggar and a prostitute in my short skirt and boots- I started to really pay attention to the swarm of holiday makers leaving the ship. I happened to notice three vastly different types of people: cruisers, travellers and the ship's crew. They all are leaving for a day away from the ship and, of course, coming back on after having their own adventures yet they all seem to do this very differently. 

Travellers set foot on the ships gangway in their shorts, shirts and swimsuits. They arrive early, coffee in hand looking dumbfounded while searching for the nearest tour guide. Cruisers step off the gangway after a lengthy and full breakfast. The women's semi-precious earrings gleam in the Caribbean sun as they take a picture with the costumed pirate (a.k.a me). Crew leave quickly with name badge attached. No taxi driver can lure them into the trap of an extra $20 spent. 

Travellers have excitement brimming in their sleep-filled eyes. Cruisers are wide awake at 10am in their tasteful beach sarongs and summer dresses. Crew are an assortment of the exhausted to the wide-awake depending how deep they are in their six month contract. They are a diverse bunch-ranging from the Asians in their t-shirts to the dancers in their bikinis. 

Travellers arrive back with an adventure fresh on their mind with an SD card filled with pictures to show for it. Cruisers arrive back with a diamond ring, a Pandora, a case full of souvenirs and a belly filled with food from one of the local restaurants. Crew arrive back a few dollars less after browsing through amazon with some fresh snacks from K-mart.

Travellers arrive after a full day of sailing the aquamarine waters of the Caribbean. And yes, the Caribbean sea is so turquoise blue that-if you look down you can see your feet staring back at you. Their skin is the same shade as the lobster the cruisers had for lunch after a long day of women shopping and men sitting on the sidewalk wondering if it is too soon to ask when is lunch. Crew arrive with a healthy brown tan after a mere two hours at the beach. After nine months in the Caribbean there is no ray of sunlight my skin has not been bared naked to. The one plus of my job is that it comes with a free tan. 

Travellers come back late, exhausted and traumatised by the wind. The only thought on their mind is climbing into bed for a one hour nap. Crew are just the same- dreading the long night of work they have ahead of them. Cruisers come back early- just in time for a quick dip in the pool before they get dressed up for a full evening of dinner, dancing, shows and, much to my dismay, family portraits.

These groups all seem so different but whether that have spent a day snorkelling around the island, shopping for their wedding rings or speaking on Skype to their children back home they all watch the sun setting over the horizon knowing they had a good day today.